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As it happens, the English have been making sausages way longer than the Germans, and as anyone who knows me will tell you, I love sausages. (I know what you're thinking and if you so much as fucking smirk, I swear I'm going reach out and slap the shit out of you.)Right, so I was dithering between the Toad in the Hole and the Bubble and Squeak when I was greeted by a curvaceous woman in a bright red 'Mrs Santa' outfit. She was a round woman, Rubenesqu even, as a friend would later say. I didn't know about that. I thought a Ruben was a sandwich, but what the hell. I prefer a woman who can appreciate a good hoagie anyway. Specks of red and green were sprinkled from her rosy cheeks all the way down over her very impressive breasts. She looked like a glitter-bomb had exploded over her.I just sat there, mesmerized by the plastic stardust covering her tits. Every time she moved, her wonderful mounds jiggled, causing the glitter to sparkle under the ancient, yellow lights. I couldn't take. . We still go and play pool to this day, competitively and in our spare time, which led us to a little trouble... Once every couple of weeks we go shoot pool in some of the seedier places around the city. You know the kind, where they still allow gambling in the back rooms of the pool halls. We go every couple of weeks to make a little money on the side. We play slow a few games, start making some bets, then win a few games making it look like luck and then head out... pays for our drinks and we have a good time! One evening we showed up at this biker bar downtown, and went about our usual business. Sat down at the bar, ordered a few drinks and had a look around the crowd. It was a normal pool hall crowd, mixed with college k**s and a few older people, a few bikers back in the back as well. It was funny to look around and see all the gazes drop from my wife as looked around... Every eye was riveted to her, and for good reason. She was wearing a tight black skirt that hugged.
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